


Paint It Red To Fit Right In

by Hecate



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-19 00:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hecate/pseuds/Hecate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She grew up in the rhythm between the halogen lights of the Ark and the narrow greyness beneath the floor of her mother's room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint It Red To Fit Right In

She didn't grew up in darkness, despite what the others think. She grew up in the rhythm between the halogen lights of the Ark and the narrow greyness beneath the floor of her mother's room. Until she was discovered, until they ripped her away from her cave and her open space, and locked her up in the Sky Box.

They murdered her parents.

The others are surprised by her. She feels it, sees it in the way they look at her. They don't understand how she can talk like them, move like them. How she can kiss a boy and laugh at their jokes. They think she should be different, a figure in grey amongst them. Because she is the second child, because she was hidden away. But she was loved, and she was cared for, and her family taught her to be a person instead of a ghost.

She learned to hate all by herself.

Bellamy calls the others his people, and she knows a part of him believes in his own words while another laughs at the lie. She watches him as he plays chancellor, as he manipulates them, and she wonders how long this will last. How long until his people raise their fists against him, until Earth bites down on all of them and swallows them up.

She pushes the thought away. She's good at that, good at entertaining herself with stories playing in her head, impatient with everything that takes too much time. She waited too much on the Ark, waited to be let out of her hiding place, waited for Bellamy to return from wherever he went, waited for food, waited and waited and waited. A lifetime, her lifetime, and she's fed up with it. 

Sometimes she thinks she is like humanity itself, a species embodied: Waiting on a spaceship until they can go home to Earth, waiting in a hole under the floor until it's safe to come out. There's hardly a difference, and she hates that idea. Because she's nothing like the rest of them; she was already trapped before they locked her up in prison.

Still, she eats it up, this new life amongst them. She reaches out and she touches and pulls and kisses. She uses. She is Bellamy's sister, after all, and they're alike in all the ways they take people and push at them until they're what the two of them want. She knows the others would disapprove, Clarke would disapprove, and maybe she should care now they're all together on Earth. A tribe, a people, and they are so far away from the Ark.

And she does care, she cares in ways she hates as much as the Ark; she cares because she needs to be wanted just this once, just for a while. She looks at Clarke, all golden like the sun, and she wants to be like that. Fierce and strong without the splinters of bitterness cutting her up inside. But she isn't, she won't be, and it angers her, and she hopes Clarke dies just like her father did, like all their parents did.

"I think my mother would have loved it here," Monty tells her a few nights after they fell from the sky and back to Earth, to grace and to freedom. "Mind you, she wouldn't like the grounders or those creepy two-headed deer. But the rest? The plants and shit? She'd like that."

She looks at him, sees his face lit up by the warm glow of the fire, and smiles. She likes him, she realizes, truly likes him even though she lied about wanting to help him contact the Ark, and she suddenly wants to hurt him for that. 

"Is she dead?" she asks and she expects his face to crumble until his smile breaks into pieces. He shakes his head, no, and her stomach goes tight and her heart stutters. 

It hurts.

"Mine is," she says.

He nods and touches her hand and doesn't say anything.

She misses her parents.

She never said it out loud, not to Bellamy and not to anyone else. Who would listen anyway? Dead parents are inflationary on the Ark, executed for everything and nothing. 

Still, she misses them, and she wants to put it into words. She wants to say, "Look up, Bellamy, look up to the sky. Mom and Dad are floating in space and they can watch us from above now." 

But she doesn't. She bites her lips, and she never mentions their parents, and she hums melodies the other kids teach her, and she pushes away the lullabies her mother sung to her through the floor.

"What does it feel like?" Clarke asks her, her eyes on Jasper. "Having a sibling."

She shrugs. There is no answer to that, no true one at least. Because Bellamy is her brother but she isn't sure they're anything like siblings on Earth used to be before the war, before they fled the planet into space and to the Ark.

"It's great," she finally replies. It's the easy answer and it doesn't give anything away about the way they touched each other sometimes, about the hard heat of his body against hers and between her lips.

"We could all have siblings down here," Clarke goes on. "There is enough space."

"And enough monsters to kill. So many that we'll end up only children after all," she says.

Clarke looks away.

She knows that Clarke wants the rest of them to come down to Earth, the whole Ark, and she hates the idea. She doesn't want them to walk freely through the woods and rivers, she doesn't want them to see the sky in blue instead of the star-dotted darkness surrounding the Ark.

They locked her up, they locked the others up and threw away the key. Until they needed them, expendable test object thrown like garbage to earth. And they wished to reap the benefits and Clarke wanted to hand them earth instead of what they had sown.

But she won't let that happen, Bellamy won't let them that happen, and they both will play their roles and the others will follow. The Ark won't touch them again, it will die between the stars and it will be forgotten.

Because they don't deserve a happy ending. None of them do.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.


End file.
